Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
