The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
