U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thus making me awesome and them whores
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
