Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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