May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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