I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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