fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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