You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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