Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
