Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
