So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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