at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
