Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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