You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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