White coat. Heels.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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