would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
