why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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