I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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