Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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