That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
