Nicole vs. Life
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
