My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
