You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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