At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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