My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
