The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
