I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
