their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
