He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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