his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
