heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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