you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
