ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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