you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
