its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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