For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
