chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
