Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Pooping to opera.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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