But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
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