Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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