Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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