You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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