Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
