I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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