Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
