there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
how drunk are you?
Several
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
