I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
