i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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