I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
