I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
