Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
