he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
