I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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