hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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