even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
