if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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