How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize