Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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