i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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