Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
