Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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